• Samuel Jacobs

Anarchy as Flat Earth dome halts Christians ascent during the rapture.

The Flat Earth dome that covers the world is preventing raptured Christians from reaching heaven and being with Jesus Christ.

When the world was raptured on April 12th, Christians who have waited two millennium for the event, seemed relieved that they were finally going to spend eternity with their savior. That was until they started gathering at the top of the Earth trapped inside the flat earth dome preventing them from reaching their heavenly destination.


The sounds of panic and anarchy echoed throughout the world as Christians gathered at the top of the dome, each propelled upwards at breakneck speeds. The first ones being crushed by those who came after, causing extensive injury. Blood and tears rained down on the Earth.


Every scientist and person with half a brain thought the Flat Earth 'theory' was wrong, that was until Christians proved it to be true by proving a second 'theory' that Scientists and the incredulous had thought was fake - the return of Jesus Christ and the Rapture.

"Honestly, we thought they were both insane. Not just foolish or misguided, but absolutely bat-shit insane." said Harvey Grant, Professor at MIT. "But I guess we were wrong. Fuck me."
Two Christians trapped at the top of the dome before they were crushed to death.

SCIENCE IS NEEDED MORE THAN EVER

It is now up to the scientists and engineers to build a structure that will help bring all of those Christians down from the top of the dome, else they will die from starvation or succumbing to their injuries.


"At first we weren't going to do it, because the world seems that much more sane without them, but the first of the Christians have relieved their bowels and bladders and we don't want to be under that."


Construction for a huge boat is now underway, and scientists are waiting for a global flood to fill up the dome so they can float up and retrieve them.


#satire #religimarole #atheist #atheism #flatearth #rapture #Jesus





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