• Samuel Jacobs

Hobby Lobby to open up 300 Planned Parenthoods inside of stores.

Updated: Jan 16

In an effort to help women get abortions quicker, Hobby Lobby has agreed to open up Planned Parenthoods in 300 of their stores.

"We are very excited about this new approach to our retail outlets." said Hamish Lakenshire, a spokesperson for Hobby Lobby. "Women can come here, shop for reasonably priced arts and crafts and now get an abortion if they choose."

The stores plan to consolidate each section so they give up one aisle and then have the Planned Parenthoods occupy the area in the back by the frames and the fabric.

"There is a science to the flow of the store and we want to encourage impulse buying. This way, if having an abortion strikes them, then they can do it right there." said Lakenshire.

They also plan to get rid of the baby crafts because they don't want to discourage people from making a decision they will regret. "Being reminded of a new born baby may sway people's minds to keep their child."

"The average baby craft sale is just under $12. Our abortions are going for $18. We want to remain competitive but still make money."

When asked about the controversy it would cause because it goes against their Christian beliefs, Mr. Lakenshire responded, "Show me in the bible where you can't have an abortion and we'll reconsider our position."

#satire #parody #roevwade #womensrights #metoo #righttochoose #hobbylobby #christian

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