Biblically Accurate Amusement Park Frightens Children into Believing.NEW CHRISTIAN THEME PARK TAKES BIBLE WAY TOO LITERALLY Get ready for some righteous family fun! Holy World, a new religious theme park is set to open next Summer in Pigeon Forge TN. Owned and operated by the Revelations Group, (we put the FUN in fundamentalism) the park is designed throughout to cater specifically to the Devout Evangelical Christian family market although all are welcome. It’s not necessary for one to be a practicing Christian to enjoy the park, but its offe
Parker Bros. updates Monopoly game to reflect Christian privilege.In an attempt to be inclusive to often-neglected American Christians, Parker Brothers has updated its most famed board game Monopoly to include churches, and Christian privilege. The game Monopoly was a cherished game for many growing up, but it did represent America at a simpler time. Parker Brothers CEO Franklin St. Claire seems to think that the game lacks the Christian slant that America has evolved into today, and has updated for today's American Christian gamer. "So may
Jesus performs yet another farewell concert. Christians pay big price. Jesus is retiring again, so he is holding yet another farewell concert during the coronavirus outbreak and Christians still are flocking to it. For the 1997th year in a row Jesus has held a three day farewell concert and his followers clamor to the streets. Christians will go out of their way to get the hottest ticket on the block and line up for years if need be. In previous years, the practice of going out to see a concert during world pandemics didn't fare too well. Over t
BREAKING: During quarantine, atheists stealing babies for food.American Christians families are having their children stolen so atheists can feed their family. Normally atheists have quelled their desire for fresh baby meat with an abundance of animal meat readily available at grocery stores and butchers, but now with the quarantine on, they are unable to get the meat that keeps them from eating fresh babies. An ex-atheist born again Christian had this to say, "We steal babies and eat them. This is why I turned to Christ. I got tired of
Selfish Cancer Kid hoarding thoughts and prayers in coronavirus epidemic.The reason the coronavirus hasn't been cured yet, is because of a lack of thoughts and prayers that are available the general public. Birmingham, AL. You may remember Louis Marcus Dryer, the 6 year-old kid who had terminal cancer. His story made the news and thousands, if not millions of Christians got together to pray for his speedy recovery. Well it turns out that Louis Marcus Dryer is a bit of a shit, and he is hoarding all of the Christian thoughts and prayers through th
Vicious Church Gang terrorizes servers at Family Brunch Place.A vicious church gang descended on the 'Egg Them On' restaurant on Sunday after mass and gave servers a hard time, barely ordered, and sat there for 2 hours. Houston, TX. The servers in the restaurant 'Egg Them On' will never be the same again after a gang of church goers from the First Church of the Trinity Blessed descended on the unsuspecting restaurant and then ironically, hell followed. The group consisted of fourteen women in their 30's to 60's, who decided, to pull the
Because of so many Christians, prison opts to become church.A privately owned prison in Iowa applied for its 501c, non-profit after it realized that more than 90% of it's inmates were of the Christian faith. Ronald Reagan Correctional Penitentiary in Iowa State, home to 1604 prisoners, has a Christian housing rate of 98%. Warden Francis Jessop, saw this as an opportunity to turn his prison into a tax-free haven by turning it into a church. Warden Jessop, who used to be an televangelist under the name of Reverend Lou Sparkle of the Fi
Evangelical Christians protest: Close Reality Conversion Therapy Centers. Evangelical Christians are now protesting the USA's libraries stating that they don't want their tax money going to buying books on anti-Christian topics like abortion or Critical Thinking. Houston, TX. A crowd of several thousand Evangelicals gathered outside the Houston Public Library on McKinney Street downtown to protest the closing of what they call 'Reality Conversion Therapy Centers.' The main reason for the protest is that they don't want government money going to pay
Ken Ham seeking $200B for rain machine to simulate biblical flood.Answers in Genesis opened The Ark Encounter in 2016 and now it seems that the next step of the Ham legacy is to create a rain machine to mimic the biblical flood and drown the Earth. To those who think The Ark Encounter is Ken Ham's legacy, think again. The $100m dollar theme park/museum is just the tip of the ice berg. Now the Ken Ham company Answers in Genesis is taking the biblical encounter one step further and is looking to make a $200B rain machine to flood the entire p
Hobby Lobby to open up 300 Planned Parenthoods inside of stores.In an effort to help women get abortions quicker, Hobby Lobby has agreed to open up Planned Parenthoods in 300 of their stores. "We are very excited about this new approach to our retail outlets." said Hamish Lakenshire, a spokesperson for Hobby Lobby. "Women can come here, shop for reasonably priced arts and crafts and now get an abortion if they choose." The stores plan to consolidate each section so they give up one aisle and then have the Planned Parenthoods occupy the ar
Christian appalled after finally reading the entire bible. When finally reading the entire bible, an Evangelical Christian is shocked at the content and is reevaluating their life choices. Houston, Texas, a local Christian man had finally set out to do what many Christians don't do, read the bible in its entirety, and not just the good news version, the entire bible as instructed by Jesus. After finishing it, he put it down and wiped the sweat from his furrowed brow. "Has this been like this the whole time? This book is frightening.
PROOF: Atheists faith in God triples when exposed to facebook memes. When exposed to positive Christian messages and memes on facebook, an Atheists faith in God triples to what it once was. A study was done...
Found: the key holder that teen Jesus made in shop class is proof of God. The key holder Jesus made for his imaginary father in high school has been discovered in an archeological dig in Nazareth and is currentl...
Bohemian Rhapsody banned in Georgia unless Islamic lyrics altered. "Bohemian Rhapsody" is a song by the British rock band Queen. It was written by Freddie Mercury for the band's 1975 album A Night at the ...
Anarchy as Flat Earth dome halts Christians ascent during the rapture. The Flat Earth dome that covers the world is preventing raptured Christians from reaching heaven and being with Jesus Christ. When the wo...
