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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Vatican Arby's introduces The Head of John the Baptist and Fries.

Updated: Apr 28, 2021

The Vatican Arby's has just come out with a new item on the menu. The Head of John the Baptist with a side of Fries and a second side of your choice.

VATICAN CITY, Arby's, in an effort to remain relevant, has developed a new menu item for their Vatican location: The severed head of John the Baptist. Thick, meaty, well-aged head of John the Baptist, served au jus with a side of french fries and a second side of your choice.

"This is one of many different menu items that Arby's has added to our special locations." said Arby's Vatican CEO, Gina Pimento. "It's a delicious treat."

Available only at the Vatican location, Pimento mentioned that they would like to reward people for not only visiting the majesty of the Vatican, but who are also willing to risk eating at Arby's as well.


Of course it would be foolish to have the real head of John the Baptist as a meal at Arby's. That head has been kept away in the Vatican vault for years, and only pulled out on Easter to make John the Baptist soup.

The heads are made up of non-Catholics who have wandered into the area and are unwilling to convert. So if you are lucky, you may get a fresh atheist, wholly untainted by Catholic dogma. Delicious.

Other menu items that Arby's has introduced to their Vatican location is the Transubstantiated Jesus, seasoned with Lot's wife and of course, dinosaur meat that didn't make it on to Noah's ark.


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