• Samuel Jacobs

REPORT: Jesus’s dog died waiting for him at the end of his street to return.

Earlier this week, palaeontologists have found the remains of the dog Jesus owned, waiting for him to return home, when Jesus was alive in Jerusalem, .

The dog collar that was found around his neck read, (translated from ancient Aramaic by Google Translate) "Ashem. If found return to Jesus, about 600 meters from Church of the Holy Sepulchre". Jesus' dog was named 'Ashem, which means 'guilt offering'.


They suspect that the dog waited at the end of his driveway for Jesus to return, and starved to death doing so was a Saluki.

Saluki Year: Circa 329 B.C. Country of Origin: Egypt Average Lifespan: 10 – 17 Years

Through DNA evidence, Salukis are one of 14 breeds shown to be the least divergent from wolves. In fact, the breed is recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s oldest dog breed, dating back to ancient Egypt around 329 B.C. Salukis are sighthounds that were typically used by nomadic tribes for hunting and were bred for their speed, strength, and endurance.


Modern Salukis still retain many of these characteristics and have been known to chase down squirrels, goats, otters, foxes, raccoons, snakes, and deer. Their speed has been clocked at 30 to 35 miles per hour.


It's a shame that no one came to collect the dog that waited until it's own death for his master to return. You would think that after Jesus rose, he would go and see if his dog was alright. Some people just shouldn't own pets.


#satire #Religimarole #Jesus #saluki #death #HolySepulchre




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