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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Pope to change 'Archbishop' to 'Grand Dragon' in effort to connect with Americans.

Updated: Jun 19, 2021

In an effort to get more in touch with American Christians, the Pope has decided to retitle the position of Arch Bishop to that of 'Grand Dragon'.

"How do I look? Am I spooky? Boo! Hehehehe."

VATICAN, VC. In recent years, the papal hold on the United States has loosened and Americans are becoming less and less Christ-like. So in an effort to bring Americans back to the fold, the pope has decided to change the title of Archbishop to Grand Dragon.

"It'll give every Christian in America the knowledge that they too can become an important member of the church." iterated Pope Francis. "They'll be the next Boyz in the hood."

When confronted by the Archbishop of Canterbury, remarking that they don't like to deal with all that fire, the pope responded with, "Sometimes you have to do what God asks of you."

Even though the Ku Klux Klan is steeped in hatred and bigotry, the Papal Papa laughed, "No more than the Catholic Church."

Jamie Rottencore, a representative for the KKK had this to say, "Well, we aren't Catholic, but I like what he has to say. If we can join hands, and all come together and hate ethnic minorities and different religions, then I am all for it."


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