• Samuel Jacobs

Pastor ripped apart in cage full of atheists hoping God would save him.

"God will save me!" said the Pastor as he jumped the fence ready to show his belief in the almighty.

Birmingham, AL, Pastor Gino Vincent was torn apart yesterday when he believed that the power of God had him covered as was ready to preach the word of Christ when he jumped into a cage full of atheists at the Birmingham Zoo. .


It was close to feeding time when Pastor Vincent decided that he was going to prove to the world that God had his back and no harm would come to him if he decided to put himself in harms way. At first he taunted the atheists by calling them foolish and quoting scripture and only after when it looked like the atheists were really riled up did Pastor Vincent jump over the barrier and into the atheist pit.

He just jumped in the cage. Who would do that? Limbs were flying everywhere. He kept calling to God... It was a horrible gruesome death. says a witness to the incident.

Atheist control was called, and at first the zoo keeper wanted to destroy all of the atheists, but witnesses protested saying that it wasn't the atheists fault that he was torn apart. "I mean, you jump in a pit with wild atheists and what do you expect?"


Very little was left of Pastor Vincent, except maybe some intestines and bits of brain. "They pretty much devoured everything." said Connor Henson of Atheist Control. "I don't know what would possess him to do that. He should have at least done it with the lions or the bears, they at least have more mercy than atheists."


Birmingham Zoo now has to put up a sign that says Do not provoke the atheists. To deter others from doing the same.


#satire #atheist #parody #religimarole #Alabama #Zoo #Christianity #Jesus

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