• Samuel Jacobs

Lack of church is leading to critical thinking; Christians are revolting.

The church closures during the quarantine are now causing those who attend to lift their heads out of the religious fog and to start to think for themselves.

With all the church closures around the world, it is causing those who normally would attend to have to make decisions for themselves. Sure, a lot of them are staging protests where they spread the virus further, or are defying the closures and congregating anyway, and spreading the virus further, but there are a select few that are staying away from the meat hooks of the church and the indoctrination and making decisions for themselves.

"I got up and made breakfast." said Joanne Kaplonsky of Wentworth Texas, "I didn't have to pray on it or anything. I just got up. Made food. And I ate. It felt so weird."

Other Christians remark that they put on clothes and enjoyed the sunshine without having to think about how they are going to burn in hell for doing the wrong thing. "It's kind of refreshing." remarked another believer. Others have started reading fiction like Harry Potter and are enjoying using their imagination.


DRIVING TO WORK

When Kelly Neubaum was driving to work, all of a sudden she was attentive to the other drivers around her, and following the laws of the road. She had forgotten that Jesus was supposed to be driving the car and took control of it herself.


"It's a thing called critical thinking." said scientist Buzz DeLawn Merriweather. "It allows for decision making and to feel good about your actions."


Without the constant noise and judgement in your ear from the pastor and even people who go to church, you can relax and take time to think for yourself. One Evangelical Christian even accepted their gay son. It's still a long way off, but the longer churches stay closed, the more people will start to be civil to those who aren't in the same god club.


#satire #religimarole #atheism #atheist #covid19 #coronavirus #criticalthinking



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