• Samuel Jacobs

FDA: Eucharist must have two food labels. Vegans are revolting.

Updated: Mar 8

The Food and Drug administration has come down hard on the Catholic Church for not having the nutritional information on the communion wafers.

In this area, there is no such thing as religious exception. All food must have nutritional information label on it, else it is in violation of FDA Law.

"This is a confusing subject," said Gary Kessell, administrator for the FDA, "because there are two different nutritional values for the Eucharist, depending on where you are in the communion process."

The wafer is made of water and flour, and is considered vegan, but as soon as the transubstantiation happens, then it's no longer vegan, it's meat. Which means it should have a totally different label. So to compromise, there must be two nutrition labels on it.


Kessell also remarked, "This was an issue to Catholic vegans. They aren't sure what they are putting in their mouth. But the makers of the communion wafer will be able to put the vegan sticker on it, as long as it says, 'Vegan, but contains meat.'"


Nutritional Information Before Transubstantiation

Nutritional Information After Transubstantiation

It is now official, if you are a Vegan, and you spit out the Eucharist, you cannot be saved.


#satire #religimarole #eucharist #communion #Jesus #Catholic #atheist #secular


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