• Samuel Jacobs

Due to huge selfish prayer backlog, God is just getting to the Crusades.

Updated: Mar 25

God answers all prayer, but regardless of yes, or no, they are answered in order.

Those who are sitting down and praying during the quarantine of the Coronavirus, will find themselves waiting for a while, considering that God just started answering prayers from the Crusades.


Millions of the world's faithful over the years have prayed to God in some way or another, some to heal the sick, or to help those in need, but none more than selfish prayers of Jews, Christians and Muslims wanting to take the easy way out and enrich themselves.

"It's an incredible amount of 'send me money' or 'find my lost keys'" said God, "That prevents me from saving children about to die from horrible diseases."

With the backlog somewhere around the Crusades, God said he won't get to the Coronavirus until around 4220. There was quite a lot of prayer that happened during the Spanish Inquisition, both from the Jews/Muslims and the Christian on opposing sides. It's going to take a while to go through it.

Many think prayer is a good thing, they may feel that it connects them to God, but in reality, it frustrates him a bit. "What was the point of giving these insects free will if the just want favors from me?"


What people don't realize is that prayer isn't processed immediately through God, several factors apply like: How faithful are you, How often do you pray for useless things, How selfless is the prayer, and are you even the right religion. When asked what Religion is given precedent, God simply replied, "I can't tell you, that would make it easy. Why would I want it to be easy for you?"


So buckle-up kiddies, you're on your own.


#satire #religimarole #prayer #god #atheism #atheist



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