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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

BREAKING: Baphomet has now answered as many prayers as God.

In a race to answer as many prayers as possible to become the supreme God, Baphomet has now answered just as many prayers has the God of Abraham has.

It's no secret that Gods make bets with each other. The Book of Job is about God and Satan betting that they can ruin a man's life even though he is the most pious. But what is not known is that all of the gods have a bet as to who can answer the most prayers.

"We started this so long ago. I haven't kept track," said Yahweh, "I'm going to let him [Baphomet] make his claim and I'll abide by it."

Obviously the god that has the more followers should be the clear winner, but that’s not the case. The god of the Satanic Church has answered just as many prayers as the god of Abraham. Considering the god of Abraham has not only Jews and Christians following him, but Muslims as well.

The church of Satan has thousands of members, certainly a far cry from the billions that believe in Yahweh. Yet they are now equal in prayer answers.

When asked just how many prayers have been answered by each prospective deity, they both looked at each other and revealed that the answer is zero.


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