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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

BREAKING: "Accidental" red sock in heaven's laundry makes angels pink.

During Lucifer's visit over Christmas, a red sock was accidentally washed with all the white frocks, causing all the angel frocks in heaven to be pink.

When "accidents" happen in heaven, it usually causes a ripple throughout the universe. In this case, one of Lucifer's red socks was washed with all of the white angel's garb, and the ending result is pink angels.

"I don't know how that happened?" Remarked, Lucifer, the prince of darkness. "I normally go home to do laundry, because the laundromats in Hell close early. But I am very careful."
Lucifer, Prince of Darkness does his laundry in heaven.

While true, the laundromats in hell close early, Lucifer has millions of demon minions that could do his laundry during business hours. He just chose not to, and took it home to heaven to do over the Christmas break. Michael and Gabriel think that it was done on purpose.

"It will take a while for the pink to fade", said St. Clorox, the patron saint of laundry, "there hasn't been a heavenly laundry related disaster since the bleach used caused a huge hole in the ozone layer."

God declined to comment, but was overheard saying that "Heaven has certainly gone to shit."


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