• Samuel Jacobs

FOUND: The 2000 year-old copy of Photoshop that turned Christ caucasian.

Updated: Mar 25

The copy of photoshop that the ancient Christians used to make Jesus Christ caucasian was found in a cave near Jerusalem.

Jerusalem, Israel. Archeologists have uncovered the 2000 year-old copy of Photoshop that is believed to be the exact edition that turned Jesus Christ from a Middle-easterner into a Blue-eyed, Caucasian male.

Although everything that they used to run the program is not obsolete, they have brought the copy to the Computer Museum in London, England to try to get it to load onto a Commodore Vic 20.

"It's quite mind-blowing, according the box, they don't even have moveable type yet." said archeologist/web designer Schmule Moskowitz.


They managed to get the program working after much tech support. Here are some of the things they found in the program:

  • There is only one font - Webdings. We assume that's where hieroglyphics came from.

  • The fill tool is a hand coming from the sky and dumping water.

  • The magic wand tool is very much present.

  • The pencil tool is a chisel and hammer

Due to radiometric dating, they can place the copy at around 100AD, after Jesus' death, but before any real following of Christ happened.

#satire #religimarole #atheist #atheism #Christ #Jesus #Photoshop

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