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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

STUDY: The Bible is consistently the most disgusting thing in hotel rooms.

Updated: Jun 22, 2020

A study of over 1000 hotel rooms to find out what the most disgusting thing in the room was and the bible wins hands down in every case.

You would think the comforter, or the remote control would be the most disgusting thing in hotel rooms, but hands down the bible wins every time. And not the reason that you think.

"It's the questionable content." said Marriott CEO Gregory Drankonship, "It's highly reprehensible. There is slavery, incest, murder, genocide, rape. How could anyone read this and be alright with it?"

The Bible has been good for their ancillary markets, like porn rentals and mini bar purchases, "It seems that people rent porn or get drunk just to forget the awful content of the bible. It's half our profits." says Drankonship. "If we removed them, we'd wouldn't survive."

The subject of cleanliness was brought to the forefront when people decided to shine a black light on the comforters to reveal semen and urine stains that should have cleaned between visits and the remote control for the television that people handled after sexual intercourse. No one realizes the poison the bible really is because most people don't read it. But as far as the most disgusting thing in the hotel room, it is still the bible hands down.

"I'm not sure who this Gideon guy is, or why he would want people to read this filth, but the owner of the hotel chain must owe him a favor or something." said Drankonship, "I would prefer to read something less horrible, like 'Mein Kampf '".


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