• Samuel Jacobs

SHOCKING: Biblical flood just God waiting for honest plumber to die to fix leak.

Updated: Apr 28

We attribute the biblical flood to God being mad at the world and how corrupt it had become. New evidence reveals something else more simple, yet makes a lot of sense.

The account of Noah's ark from the old testament had God speaking to Noah and having him build an ark and gather two of each animal so he can repopulate the earth. Biblical scholars never really understood the reasons why God would destroy nearly every person and species of animal on the planet.


GREAT FLOOD

I'm sure you can imagine the size of God's toilet and the size of bowel movement that he must do on a daily basis. Well, for the first time in eternity, God's commode just happened to overflow causing water to collect and eventually fall to earth.


Considering there were no plumbers that ever made it to heaven, based on their price gouging and fare hikes based on urgency, God actually had to wait until an honest plumber died and could fix his clogged toilet. Considering that it was taking hundred of years and as the water piled up, God had decided to kill everyone and hope for the best that a plumber to be in the mix.

"I was a new journeyman plumber, literally first day on the job," said Jackson Granton, "but hey, it counts. Now I'm God's personal plumber. I guess it could be worse. I could be they guy that counts the foreskins."

Lucky for God, he slipped through the biblical cracks and only took 40 days to fix and plunge God's toilet, finally causing the water to recede.


When the toilet was finally cleared, the entire planet had been wiped out and no one was left except Noah and his family. Since then, God's toilet has been purring like a kitten.


#satire #religimarole #parody #noahsark #greatflood #atheism #atheist #christianity


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