• Samuel Jacobs

Ford releases SUV with Jesus tracts already haphazardly strewn onto it.

In an attempt to connect with its demographic, Ford is has released a vehicle that already has the message of Christ haphazardly displayed across the sides and back.

Vehicles are more than conveyances that take you from one place to another, they are expressions of our very selves. When Christians began decorating their vehicles with messages of Jesus, The Ford Motor Company saw an opportunity. In 2021, Ford is releasing the new Ford Missionary. Everything you want in a vehicle, including salvation.


"Many Americans buy Ford because the car is entirely American, just like Jesus." said Amy Beergarden, spokesperson for Ford. "We combined the two together and made one glorious Jesus machine."


JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL

The new Ford Missionary is only available in American Christian colors like Red, White and Blue and will run on coal. "We want to keep those 40,000 some-odd coal miners working."


The base model will start at $29,995, but for a modest fee you can upgrade with some specialized features like, Scripture a day, gun rack and liberal catcher in the front.


#satire #religimarole #Ford #Missionary #Jesus #atheist #atheism






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