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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

For 5,000 years in a row, God wins annual hide & seek championship.

The annual hide and seek championship was won, yet again, by God by not being found.

Every year, every religion on earth play the annual hide and seek game of 'Where's God?' hoping that this is the year they will have found him. This year, which was held in Houston Texas, was won yet again by God. He has hidden so good that no one has found him in every single game that has been played.

"Those fucking Christians keep stopping the game, saying they've found him." said Jayesh Anarearug, a Muslim, and participant for the last 70 years. "They have never found him. What a bunch of lying sacks of shit they are."

The rules are simple. God is hiding. All you have to do is find him and show him to the world that he is real. The reward is that you will be remembered and revered for all of history.

Harry Freemont, a Christian who has played for the last 52 years, says that he has won the game every year in a row. When asked to provide proof where God was hiding, he threw a bunch of logical fallacies and stomped around crying persecution. "We found him 2000 years ago, don't we get credit for that?" Except, they are claiming a human to be God, who gave himself up, so they can win the game. The others say that this doesn't pass muster.

Upset that he has to play with Muslims, he had this to say, "How would the Muslims know what he looks like? They wouldn't would they? There are no pictures."

Is he on the floor? Nope, not here.

The Jews have a different tactic. They are waiting until God gets tired of playing because he has better things to do and hoping he will eventually come out. Shmule Guttman, a participant of 68 years, had this to say, "I'm happy to play, but God is a good hider. The best there is. Who am I? I just work in the schmata business, I'm supposed to beat God? Did you need some slacks?"

Since the game has been played for so long, the rule book has been rewritten several times by each religion. No one even knows if they are playing the right game.

The Atheists have sat out of the game. Atheist Grant Carmichael responded with this,"We need to know there is something to look for to begin with? Is that so hard? You've been playing for years without knowing if there is a prize or not. I'm not about to search for an invisible needle in a haystack."

The game will continue each year until someone finds God, or they actually all give up. But considering that this is the most favorite game of all religions to play, it's going to be around a long time.


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