top of page
  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Christian sacrifices soul to be able to misinform people on the internet.

Updated: Jun 22, 2020

In an egregious violation of one of the ten commandments, A Christian has sacrificed their soul to Satan so they can purposely spread misinformation about social and political subjects on the internet.

We all remember that fabled scene when Charlton Heston comes down from the mountain holding the tablets with the ten commandments with the laws that God has given him for all to obey for eternity. Even though the original Ten Commandments were in the old Testament, Jesus makes his instructions clear in Matthew 5:18 "For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled." meaning that until Jesus returns the old laws should be followed.

It turns out that Jacob Freemont from Boyse, Idaho has decided to take his afterlife into his own hands by purposely ignoring the ninth commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. to spread incredulous lies on the internet.

When asked about why he would sacrifice his soul and afterlife just to mention that hurricanes are brought on by gay pride parades, masturbation causes autism or that vaccines cause evolution, he had this to say,

"My purpose is to get the word of Jesus out there and I don't care if I have to go against everything he stood for to do it."

Jacob, who has the blog, "The Gospel of the Trinity Blessed' writes a hugely successful daily blog about the problems with society that just happen to coincide with his biases and prejudices but by professing it's actually Jesus' opinion he justifies and claims religious aslyum.

I can't let people think that I'm actually a bad person." said Freemont, "That's why I hide behind Jesus and the bible."

Not Satan, but in fact Mr. Freemont's Agent, Gus.


bottom of page