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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Theist vindicated after being annoying in Facebook atheist groups.

Updated: Mar 3, 2020

Georgia native Hillary Brandon patted himself on the back yesterday because he went into a couple of atheist groups on Facebook and quoted scripture to them. "That'll learn them."

Facebook can be an amazing tool for keeping in touch with friends, family and people with similar interests. It can also be a haven for people who just want to annoy others. While there are many, many theists on Facebook, every so often, one of them slips into an atheist group to troll and spread the word of God.

"I went into a couple of groups and responded unfavorably to a few memes." said Hillary, "They got all frustrated and defensive. People do that before they receive the holy spirit."

One post from a new atheist who was concerned that their family wouldn't understand and felt totally alone. Several atheists were trying to comfort the poster and give advice and guidance. Hillary jumped on and tried to reassure her that atheists were horrible people and that they should join his church where they go around and tell others that atheists are horrible people. Then quoted scripture about atheists being fools, at which time the other posters bombarded him with memes.

No amount of ridicule seems to stop this troll, people have called him names, disproven his point and even just shut the post down because he was annoying. This hasn't stopped him.

"I've tested the waters and figured out exactly what it takes to annoy atheists but not violate the rules of Facebook." said Hillary, "It took a while, but I've done it."
Hillary Brando talking to his imaginary friend.

Even though Hillary's efforts have strengthened atheist's beliefs, he believes it doesn't. "It's like how you want to date a woman, but she says no, so you follow her and follow her, to her work and home, and you watch her, and text and call her, and eventually she can't help but think of you."

When asked why he continues to troll atheists, he had this to say, "Well, most of them just want to be happy and have control over their lives and well being. I think that is bullshit. They should know that a celestial dictator is judging them, and they should love him the way I love him, even though it is against their best interests. There is no way to disprove that my horrible entity, that I worship like I have Stockholm Syndrome, exists. Trump, 2020."


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