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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Rise in devil activity due to idle hands during Blue State quarantines.

The devil activity has increased almost 2300% due to the quarantining of blue states.

"Idle hands are the devil's playground." has never been more true than during this worldwide pandemic while everyone is quarantined. This is why the Red States refuse to isolate everyone during this global pandemic. It will just lead to increased devil work in the Republican states, and that is unacceptable.

"We would rather see people contract the virus and die, than lay down to the devil." said Mrs. Diavola Pepita, an Evangelical Christian in Tennessee. "There is no way we are going to bend down and take it up the gay." [sic]

Even though there are fewer cases of Covid-19 in Red States because the population is significantly lower, the numbers of infected are steadily increasing. This isn't stopping the religious right from still going out in large numbers to their respective places of worship.

But in the Blue States, the devil certainly has taken his due. He has infected the minds and hearts of everyone: From parents wanting to throttle their children because they don't know how to properly homeschool in the ways of Jesus, to watching of unAmerican television series like Downton Abby.


The quarantine is far from over, and the devil is expected to overtake most countries and certainly half the United States. "Countries like Spain, and Italy are the lucky ones, they have less idle hands so the devil won't rear his ugly heads." said Diavola. "I fear that when it's all over, there will be nothing of Jesus left. It will belong entirely to the devil."


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