• Samuel Jacobs

REPORT: Blacklight reveals inside of Notre Dame Cathedral's Confessional.

Updated: Feb 2

Blacklight was used to identify hard to see human semen stains inside Notre Dame Cathedral before the historical building almost burned down.

PARIS, FRANCE. Sources reveal that the department of health had been tipped off at the cleanliness of the confessional booths in Notre Dame cathedral, but before the official report got out, the cathedral suffered a massive fire. Fortunately the findings were not destroyed.


Recently the health report had resurfaced and the conclusions were not positive. According to the health department, there were centuries worth of dried semen stuck to the walls inside the confessionals. So much so that it looked like stucco. The report had this to say:

"There is semen everywhere. It's like a Jackson Pollock painting. To get rid of it all, they would have to burn the church down."

Brought in for Questioning

Authorities think arson is the cause of the fire because someone wanted to not only hide the horrid history of the Catholic church, but their own indiscretions as well. Michel Christian Alain Aupetit has been Archbishop of Paris since his installation on 6 January 2018. He was brought in for questioning but released later that night.


Where there is Science there is Majesty.

According to the scientific study, there was so much DNA, scientists think that they can isolate and clone Pope Alexander III.


#NSFW #satire #parody #religimarole #Pope #NotreDame #semen #JacksonPollock

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