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BREAKING: Vatican stops atheist time-travel scheme to save Jesus.
For at least fifty years the science has had the ability to time travel, but the Catholic church has hid the technology to prevent atheists from traveling back in time to save Jesus. Is time travel possible? Yes, of course it is. And because of a single line of dialogue during Back to the Future where Doc Emmett suggests to a plucky Marty that they can do back to the past to witness the birth of Christ, atheists have been trying to travel back in time to save Christ from cruc

Pope to change 'Archbishop' to 'Grand Dragon' in effort to connect with Americans.
In an effort to get more in touch with American Christians, the Pope has decided to retitle the position of Arch Bishop to that of 'Grand Dragon'. VATICAN, VC. In recent years, the papal hold on the United States has loosened and Americans are becoming less and less Christ-like. So in an effort to bring Americans back to the fold, the pope has decided to change the title of Archbishop to Grand Dragon. "It'll give every Christian in America the knowledge that they too can beco

Vatican refuses to clean up slime trail left behind by Card. George Pell.
Cardinal George Pell was convicted of sexual abuse but is released from prison, but what of his slime trail? PERTH, AU. One of the most powerful men in the Roman Catholic Church, Cardinal George Pell who was found guilty of one charge of sexual penetration of a child and four charges of an indecent act with or in the presence of a child in the late 1990s was freed from prison after Australia's High Court unanimously overturned his conviction on five counts of historical child

Pope Francis: Post COVID-19 women should be allowed to go to work.
Against his better judgement, Pope Francis has decreed that because of the economic and global disaster that this pandemic has brought, women should be allowed to work. Vatican City, VA. Pope Francis met with his special task force on societal issues yesterday and after long deliberations about how the economy will recover in a post-COVID19 world, they had come to the conclusion that to maintain a healthy economy, women must enter the work place. As much as the bible tells us

BREAKING: Pope assigns April 3rd as the virgin Mary's celestial rape day.
Doing some quick math with Jesus being born on Christmas, Mary would have been impregnated in April. Another Christian Holiday has been approved by the Vatican. April 3rd will now be celebrated as the "Virgin Mary's Celestial Rape Day" or "Penetrate". The supposed day that God came down and impregnated Mary without her knowledge. "Penetrate is a very special day for us." said the Pope, "This is the day that God held down an unsuspecting woman, spread her legs and forced his s