• Samuel Jacobs

Religious Woman ruins life of 'friend' who revealed Bible inconsistencies.

Updated: Feb 20


Martha Kranberra hurting her face with her fake smile and phony friendliness.

Savannah, GA. Martha Kranberra, 82, has been a long believer of the bible. Everything she has done in public has been to advance her grace to Jesus Christ. Now you can imagine her dismay when she found out that her long time friend June Graves, 79, was questioning her faith when she found some common inconsistencies, and horrors in the bible.

"I don't know where she gets the nerve." said Martha, as she quilted. "But imma fuck her shit up trying to spread lies about Jesus. I'm talking wrath of God type stuff."

June, who wanted to learn more about her faith, studied the bible and became an atheist when she was in her mid 70's. "I feel I wasted a lot of time believing is a lot of stupid shit." said June, as she made cookies. "I'm not trying to convert Martha, I just want to justify my position."


Martha, who needlepointing at the time, has already told the Ladies Auxiliary over lunch and the Daughters of the Confederation over high tea, who is already picking out their stoning stones. She is planning on telling the Women of the Quilt Club the next time they meet. "I don't know if I can be friends with someone who is blatantly against all that is Jesus." said Martha. "When I am done with her, she will be cast out like Lot and his wife. Let's see if you like the salt treatment June. The salt treatment."

2018 Prize-winning quilt made by Martha Kranberra

When mentioned to June, who was flower arranging, what Martha has planned on doing, June replied with, "What are you talking about? I've known Martha for 60 years. She would never do anything like that."


The interview ended when we heard a cackle, then phone suddenly went dead. When trying to reach June again, there was no answer. We have not been able to contact her again as if she disappeared from the Earth. Martha had this to say, "I'm not sure who this June person you are talking about is, but the Sisters of the Whitewashing of Savannah are renting out a Heritage house that just became available."


Never underestimate a religious zealot with a lot of time on their hands.


#satire #religimarole #bible #georgia #quilting #friendsinchrist #jesus #christ


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