• Samuel Jacobs

Muslim man accidentally marries a beach umbrella. "Is my face red."

When Sanjay Ragutan married the love of his life, he was shocked when after there wedding he discovered that she was just a beach umbrella that was left behind.

"She was perfect marriage material - she was thin, silent and didn't talk back." said Mr. Ragutan in reference to all those non-religious muslim women who have a mind of their own. "We would go everywhere together, and her leaning out the window I just thought she enjoyed the fresh air."

When asked what tipped him off, he replied that "At family gatherings she wouldn't help out the other women, she just stood off in the corner."

Mr. Ragutan married the Beach Umbrella in a large ceremony at their local mosque where he described it as a joyous affair. But he cannot marry a real woman now because of the covenant of marriage. "I'm going to have to wait until a strong wind catches her, of she is accidentally set on fire before I look for another. But honestly, she's kind of perfect."


Mr. Ragutan's family said they like her because she knows her place as a muslim woman. "It would help if she cooked, but not everyone is perfect. As long as she isn't Jewish."


#satire #parody #religimarole #muslim #burka #umbrella #Jewish.

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