Giant bag of Dino Chow found in Turkey proving Noah's Ark is real!
Updated: Jun 22, 2020
A discarded bag of Dino Chow was found proving dinosaurs were on the Ark!
For years naughty scientists and disbelievers have been doubting the veracity of Noah's Ark. How could a boat smaller than the Titanic hold two of every animal in the world, including dinosaurs, and some species that even couldn't survive the trek to and from distant lands to make it to the ship? Well, an ancient artifact, a 52lb bag of Dino Chow, was discovered at Mount Tendürek, the supposed resting place of Noah's Ark and proves that it was in fact real, and not a stupid made-up fairy-tale that makes no sense whatsoever, and even housed dinosaurs.
"It's obviously one of many that were on the ark," said Ark Scholar and man who talks to buildings, James P. Dervis. "but due to them biodegrading, we only found the one."
Considered a lucky find, the bag which is almost 4000 years old, is still intact and the typeface Alfa Slab One is clearly visible. On the bag is a dinosaur and we can only assume Noah's kid, because everyone else was killed.
The bag is on display at the Christian antiquities museum along with other impressive Christian Artifacts like the monogrammed handkerchief that Christ used to wipe off his ball sweat, and the crusader's sword that killed a million people who wouldn't covert.