• Samuel Jacobs

Christian spends $100k on surgery to resemble savior, Muslim doctor makes him look like Mohammed.

In the mother load of all botched surgeries, a Christian is made to resemble the wrong savior.

Before, pasty and smelling like hamburgers, now smoldering with mystery.

Mobile, AL. For the last five years, devout Evangelical Christian, Christian Montgomery has saved his pennies so he can afford facial reconstruction surgery to look more like Jesus Christ. But he should have been more specific when he told his Muslim doctor that he wanted to look like 'the savior'.

"It's an honest mistake," said Dr. Jayesh Rupaulrella "He never used the word Jesus. It was all, 'King of kings' and 'The lord almighty'. Of course I'm going to think Mohammed. He should have been clearer."

SEEKING DAMAGES

According to the Lawsuit that Mr. Montgomery has filed against Dr. Rupaulrella, it states that he purposely chose the wrong savior because during the consultation there was a bit of mild racism being flung around. "But this is America. I can be racist," said Montgomery, "it's in the constitution and the bible." He is suing for $100m dollars in damages. To win the case, they would certainly have to prove criminal intent. But considering Mohammed is Dr. Rupaulrella's savior, it's going to be hard to do so.


Dr, Rupaulrella's lawyer had this to say, "I don't know what he is going on about, he looks better this way. He's not white and pasty anymore, he's got that kind of smolder that can attract 72 virgins. How many virgins did Jesus get? One! And that was his mom."


FITTING IN

Since then, Mr. Montgomery has been having a difficult time blending in at the gun rallies and clan meetings. "He's totally destroyed my social life." he said in his deposition. "The police stop me on the street for no reason. I don't get jobs I apply for, I didn't sign up for this."


The only upside Mr. Montgomery has stated he's benefited from since the surgery is that his wife wants to have sex with him more often.


#satire #religimarole #atheist #atheism #mohammed #jesus


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