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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Christ put back into schools, became educated, dumps religion for science.

Updated: Mar 25, 2020

After years of Evangelical protest, Jesus Christ was put back in school to finish his GED,

Jesus Christ, after a couple of millennia of not getting his high school equivalency, has gone back to school to finish off what he started. It's been a while since Jesus had gone to a structured school, and he never really developed an interest in any particular subject until now. Sure The Christ is exceptional in debate, home ec, and shop class, but he found that his real passion lies with Science.

"He's really taken to cosmology and physics." said his teacher, "If he applies himself he can become the next Neil Degrasse Tyson."

After getting his GED, Jesus has enrolled in college courses to further his skills in the sciences. When asked Jesus about being the spiritual leader for over a billion people, he had this to say, "I thought I wanted a business degree, but I found it too stifling. Too many people looking to me for answers. This way, anything I can do is falsifiable and I don't have the burden of always trying to prove who I am. It's really tiring."


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