• Samuel Jacobs

Body of Christ accidentally served at Catholic Church Barbecue.

The Church of the Trinity Blessed fundraiser barbecue was a much anticipated event, until Father Francis accidentally served the body of Christ to the attendees.

Houston, TX. The annual Church of the Trinity Blessed fund-raising barbecue was almost ruined yesterday when Father Francis accidentally served a good 65lbs of Jesus to his parishioners.


"It was an honest mistake," claims Father Francis "It was Jesus that was left over from the Transubstantiation and was just sitting in the refrigerator. I thought it was for the barbecue that was happening later that afternoon. It wasn't even covered up, so I assumed."


Father Francis then took the Jesus from the fridge and made hamburgers from it to sell to the attendees of the fund-raising barbecue.

"The meat was already tenderized," explained Father Francis, obviously referring to the beating Jesus took when carrying his cross. "It was like hamburger."

When asked how many Jesus burgers were sold at the fundraising event, he went on to speculate, "I don't know, A couple of hundred? We mixed the Jesus meat in with ground pork. Jesus was very lean, he didn't have a lot of fat on him, so we needed to amp up the fat content."


He was especially proud because he used his own secret bbq sauce recipe. "Not too vinegary, not too sweet. Just like our Lord Savior. Temperament I mean, not taste."


All was discovered when people started complaining that the burgers were tasting a little gamey. That's when Father Rivera discovered the missing Jesus from the fridge.


When eaters of Jesus started throwing up their hamburgers, Father Francis threw up his hands. "I don't know what the big deal is, you eat the body of Christ when you take communion. How is this different?"


Father Francis has now on sabbatical. The biggest lesson learned here, of course, is label your Jesus in the fridge.


#satire #parody #religimarole #Jesus #Catholic #transubstantiation #hamburgers #barbecue

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