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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Angst-filled Teenage Jesus yells at Joseph. "You're not my real dad!"

Yelling could be heard throughout Galilee yesterday when Teenage Jesus was asked to do chores but he just wanted to hang out with a dozen guys or sleep the entire weekend away.

Teenager Jesus and his step-dad Joseph got into an argument yesterday at Joseph's Fine Furniture. Reports claim that Joseph had a dining room set to finish in time for passover, and if Jesus was to take over the family business, he was needed to help out in the wood shop by doing things like handling of the nails, carrying large pieces of wood long distances and fetching the wine. Jesus just wanted to hang out with his friends or sleep all weekend.

"He's become a bit of a problem child." He likes to remind me every second day that I am his step father and not his read father." said Joseph."

This isn't unusual for Joseph, as he had raised six kids (Jesus being the 7th) even though they aren't talked about much. Except for James, for some reason, he is the favorite. But who even knew that Joseph had five other children that weren't Mary's.

Because of his chronic nasty behavior, Joseph warned that Jesus will hardly be remembered in history if his attitude didn't change. "People remember those who do a good job in carpentry like, and he went to name his children other than James, but couldn't remember their names."

Mary didn't seem concerned at all about his' behavior. "He's rebelling because he's not his real dad. All teenagers do it. Joseph could be more of a father figure to him instead of just another hand to put to work." she said. "He adores his other children, even though I don't think he even named his two daughters." When asked who his real father was, she quickly shut us down and changed the subject.

Bit of a problem child.

Jesus has been a known troublemaker in Galilee and recently was arrested for supplying the wine to an underage party. The police were called and they seized several barrels of wine.

"He's running with the wrong crowd. They will surely be his undoing." said Joseph.


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