Jesus' mother Mary speaks out: "My relationship with God was abusive."
In a tell-all book by Mary, the mother of Jesus, she reveals just how abusive and dismissive God was in their relationship. Mary, the virgin mother of Jesus confessed yesterday to the Religimarole staff that her relationship with God was an alcoholic-induced, physically abusive and controlling. "It all started when he knocked me up without my permission." said Mary in her exclusive to Religimarole. "I'm not going to say it was rape, because he is God and all, but it was rape
Angst-filled Teenage Jesus yells at Joseph. "You're not my real dad!"
Yelling could be heard throughout Galilee yesterday when Teenage Jesus was asked to do chores but he just wanted to hang out with a dozen guys or sleep the entire weekend away. Teenager Jesus and his step-dad Joseph got into an argument yesterday at Joseph's Fine Furniture. Reports claim that Joseph had a dining room set to finish in time for passover, and if Jesus was to take over the family business, he was needed to help out in the wood shop by doing things like handling