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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

AmeriChrists riot against muslin fabrics, for being antiChristian.

Updated: Apr 28, 2021

In the latest attempt to get rid of anything that sounds unAmerican or antiChristian, Right-wing American Christians are rallying against products and services that could even sound close to offending them.

Christian Americans are an odd lot. They are the most triggered people on the planet, while calling you a snowflake to your face. When the Coronavirus hit, they stopped drinking Corona Beer, as if it had some sort of connection. The latest in American-Christians boycotting everything [ACBE], is muslin fabrics, because it sounds too much like the word Muslim and originally was from Iraq.

A bunch of Americans from the group AmeriChrist located in North Liberty, Iowa have been protesting, even though they have never met a Muslim, and have been wearing muslin all of their lives.

"It's what they make them Durka woman bags out of." said Christian Activist John Gorham Stiles Jr. "I can't support that."

They took to the town hall to protest, burning everything in Christ's name, because somehow that makes it okay, and left carnage in their wake. At one point they destroyed a local Jamaican Roti shop, because it was the closest thing to anything middle eastern.

AmeriChrist Protestors burning down anything that could be Muslim. Here are a pile of throw rugs.

Muslin is a cotton fabric of plain weave. It is made in a wide range of weights from delicate sheers to coarse sheeting. It gets its name from the city of Mosul, Iraq which the Europeans believed to be its place of origin. However, its origins are now thought to have been farther east — in particular Dhaka in Bangladesh.

Early muslin was handwoven of uncommonly delicate hand spun yarn, especially in the region of what today is Bangladesh. It was imported into Europe for much of the 17th and early 18th centuries before the USA was even a country.


A child was playing hopscotch, but considering that Numerals were once Arabic, the protestors took a fire hose to the chalk on the ground. The bewildered, confused child just pointed to the fire they had started and said, "The fire is right there. IT'S RIGHT THERE!"

It is rumoured that the family of that child soon left the town to raise their kid without bigotry.


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