• Samuel Jacobs

All Kosher salt revealed to be actually made from the carcass of Lot's wife.

For those who are vegetarian and like too cook with Kosher salt, you have been lied to.

Lot's Wife, after losing a few pounds.

We all know the story in Genesis (18-19) of Sodom and Gomorrah, where a really important person who has to deal with sin in the bible isn't even named, Lot's wife is turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back at the sinful cities.


Well, even though it was a sin to look back at the cities, it wasn't a sin to take Lot's wife, and resell her to cure meats and cook with.

"It was an opportunity that we couldn't pass up. Not only was she better for you than normal salt, but tastier too" said Lot. "I mean, she would want it this way."
What is left of Sheila after building a Kosher Salt empire.

After harvesting Lot's wife, oh, let's call her, Sheila, they took her back to Lot's place, and began chipping away at her, and bottling the contents. But the question is, Is all Kosher Salt still Sheila a few thousand years later?


"Absolutely!" said Hugh Speedman, the CEO for "I Can't Believe it's Lot's Wife!" - the leading brand of Kosher Salt. "Every year we have a starter batch, that we grow into the crop of salt that we cultivate and sell in stores. You are eating salt that is grown from the original salt pillar."


"They only thing we haven't used is her head." said Speedman, "When we get to that, we will charge extra."


#satire #religimarole #atheism #atheist #lotswife #koshersalt


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