Samuel Jacobs
Virgin Mary confesses - I hooked up with some guy on Ashley Madison.
The conception of Jesus coincides with a tawdry affair that Mary had on an adultery website.
Bethlehem. For almost 2000 years, Christians have been worshiping Jesus Christ as if he were the son of God due to his immaculate conception. But sources reveal that Mary had a membership on the adultery website Ashley Madison.
According to the website, Mary was one of the first members to sign up. Her profile number was 12, which means that there were at least 11 members before her.
The unknown male that she connected with sent her a wink, then they started talking over the interface. After a few quick correspondences, Mary met up with the unknown man and had a sexual encounter with him.
CONSEQUENCES
Of course the consequences of her actions resulted in the birth of Jesus and was not immaculately impregnated by a god. When asked, God had this to say,
"Wow, that bitch! I didn't see that coming." God continued. "I thought I was the only one who ended getting up into that. I guess I was wrong."
MAN REMAINS UNIDENTIFIED
Even thought the man still remains unknown, there was a blue-eyed blond man who was visiting the area for a short time.
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