• Samuel Jacobs

Talking snake breaks silence in shocking tell-all book about Eden.

We all know the story of the Garden of Eden, the Snake and Adam and Eve, now hear the shocking tell-all story about what really happened.

Trinity Blessed Press has released The Core Truth, the new shocking tell-all from the most hated snake in history. Everything you know about the creation story is about to be turned on its head.


When the Warren Commission Report revealed that there was a second apple in the Garden of Eden, it sparked a lot of outrage and finger-pointing. That is when the Snake penned this steamy tell-all about the events of the Apple, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and the tawdry affair of what followed and how Eve was the perpetrator of everything.


There has been some outrage with all of the three major religions, because it reveals the Snake to be a victim just like Adam was. This goes against their taught belief that the downfall of man was indeed caused by the snake who enticed Eve into offering the apple to Adam and not that she was the ringleader of the whole thing.


When asked Snake if he thought that it would conjure up unwanted misogyny toward women, he replied, "You do realize the association snakes have with everything bad, right? I just want the truth to be told."


Reliable Narrator

We have to ask ourselves the question is this a reliable narrator? After all, it's been six thousand years, why hasn't he said anything until now? He has already been painted with the devil brush, why would he all of a sudden want redemption.

"Before this, no one would believe me, but the Warren Commission Report has allowed me to speak the truth." said Snake.

Excerpt

Adam had gone off to play poker with some of the animals and he wasn't going to return for some time. This was a perfect time for me to put my plan into action. I looked around for Eve and I felt a tug on my tail. I turned around and there was Eve standing, fig leaf hardly covering her dirty, sweaty breasts. She looked at me like she had already eaten the apple. Her breath smelled like jasmine wine. She was very sexy, after all, she was the perfect woman.

"Are you looking for me?" whispered Eve. Her hand dropped from her neck to trace the canal between her breasts. "It's hot here. What do you have to drink?"

"It looks like you've been doing a lot of drinking already." I said, not taking the bait. This was her thing. She would send Adam off on errands or to go hang out with the badgers, to keep them occupied. (That's right, in Eden, badgers still don't give a fuck.")

"I could do with a lot more." she said smirking. My scales started to harden.


"I just want the record to be set straight." said Snake. "If that sells books, well, I can't help that."


The Core Truth is available where ever fine books are sold.


#satire #parody #eden #adam #eve #snake #coretruth #religimarole.


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