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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Church's Gay Conversion Therapy Weekend is the biggest LGBT Party.

The Church of the Trinity Blessed thought that it was doing the right thing by putting several fit, oiled-up, horny members of the LGBT community secluded on a weekend getaway with an overtly closeted gay conversion therapist, the result, the best party, only second to Pride.

Houston, TX. The wildest party for the LGBT community comes in April the weekend after Easter, which is the Church of Trinity Blessed sponsored Conversion Therapy Weekend. The first year, which was in 1986, consisted of only a handful of young gay adults in their sexual prime, brought together for a weekend of pretty much unsupervised body massages and scripture. But when they discovered that the Pastor himself was a closeted gay man, it became no holds barred.

Last year the therapy weekend, or as they affectionately call it, "Keister Weekend" which now consists of three days of lodging, food, music and total seclusion, brought out over 20,000 gay men and women all on the church dime.

"We'd like to thank Jesus for this weekend." said one supporter. "Those uptight Christians really know how to party."

LGBT people from all denominations of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and the secular community come from all around and pitch a tent. They play music, get wasted and party all weekend long. According to one event goer, "Scripture hasn't been a part of this weekend since the 80's."

Celebrity Attendants

For the last ten years it's been speculated that Joel Osteen makes an appearance in the Glory Hole Room. "Even though we don't see his face, we know it's him. I would know that freckle anywhere."

The weekend was ironically catered by In-N-Out burger.


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