• Samuel Jacobs

Christians Lawmakers agree, conception now begins at Shemar Moore.

After Intense studies of binge-watching Criminal Minds, the consensus is that just watching Shemar Moore is enough to cause women to ovulate and become fertile. Particularly after he says the phrase, "Baby Girl."

Little Rock, AR. With the amount of controversy in the news over women's rights, the Christian lawmakers in Arkansas, with a 39 to 2 consensus agree that conception now begins at the first time you see an image of Shemar Moore. Which would mean that from this point forward, all women reading this post are now 'pregnant'.


Studies have shown that women who watch Shemar Moore in any of his roles, including SWAT and Criminal Minds, have instantly produced and fertilized their own eggs in a process scientists call: Second-hand Shemar.

"The sheer raw machismo that radiates from even a single picture is enough to get a woman pregnant." says fertility expert Dr. Kyle Henstrom who had to fan himself just to keep from fainting.

When asked, Gomer Dervin, from the Christian right, had this to say, "He is like a fertility train that is never derailing. It's safer to just deny women' from getting any sort of abortion after seeing his picture."


Groups of Pro-life activists station themselves outside of abortion clinics across the country holding signs of Shemar Moore, so anyone who looks at it, will automatically be in violation of the law. Women entering the clinics have resorted to wearing hoods on their heads to avoid the smoldering, sexy gaze of Shemar.


#satire #parody #religimarole #Shemarmoore #Criminalminds #arkansas #protests

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