BREAKING: Jesus' American burial flag located in Houston attic.
"I didn't know what I was sitting on." says Martha Cameron, 87. Retired school teacher.
Houston, Texas. Martha Cameron, a retired school teacher was cleaning out her attic looking to throw away or sell some of her late husband's things when she came across a dusty old flag. She scrutinized and smelled it, and she knew instantly what she had: The American Flag that Jesus was buried with.
"The American flag is holy to me as it is, but this one is electrifying." said Mrs. Cameron, "I knew instantly it was the personal Old Glory of the Savior."
She took the flag to get it authenticated at the First Church of the Trinity Blessed, and as soon as they saw it, they knew they had something special. Pastor Colin Fitzpatrick started speaking in tongues and he fainted on the stage. At which Martha jumped up and down with glee. "This is it!" she exclaimed.
At first look, the flag is just like an old dusty flag, but with science and photo enhancements, you can plainly see the image of Jesus burned into the flag from having it placed over his face before he was buried.
When asked where she got it, she couldn't rightly remember, it was either at a swap meet at the co-op in Fredericksburg, Texas, which is a quaint little town known for their gazebo and mild racism, or at a yard sale in Lockhart, the barbecue capital of the great state of Texas.
What is to become of such a religious artifact?
Mrs. Cameron hadn't quite decided what she is going to do with such an important religious item. She is torn between donating it the The Daughters of the Republic of Texas which is a lineal association dedicated to perpetuating the memory of the founding families and soldiers of the Republic of Texas or just hanging it outside of her home to show everyone that she is indeed American, like Jesus.
#satire #parody #shroudofturin #religimarole #religious #Jesus #Christ