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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

BREAKING: Houston first city to test Giant Prayer Robots.

The landscape of Houston has changed once again with the adoption of Giant Prayer Robots roaming the city to remind you to pray to the Lord Jesus Christ.

In an attempt to make Houston the holiest city in the United States, it has become the first city to be overrun by giant prayer robots to remind people politely to pray to the Lord Jesus Christ. At a cost of $4B each to taxpayers, Houston has acquired 14 of them.

Even though Houston hasn't fully recovered from the flooding from the hurricanes, the city decided that instead of dedicating that money to rebuilding and providing relief for those who were devastated by the flooding, they should have their souls saved first.

Unthreatening Prayer Robot
When asked Mayor Joel Osteen, why such drastic measures, he had this to say, "Relief shouldn't come in food or shelter or safety, it should come in salvation of the lord."

Some of the Houston homeless have dismantled some of the giant robots and have used them for either scrap metal or made them into shelters. The People are furious with Mayor Osteen, "First he locks the churches so we can't escape the floods, and now he takes out taxes and buys prayer robots? These aren't what my taxes are for."

Homeless person using giant prayer robot as shelter.

Some residents seem to embrace the new metal overloads, saying it's like the second coming of Christ, "if he were a giant, unfeeling, cold robot."


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