BREAKING: Atheists have been de-converting the dead to become faithless.
Atheists are converting religious people to secularism after they die and are buried in their own faith, preventing them from being with God and their loved ones, like Grandma.
The My Right to Hate Religion Group (TMRTHRG) has released a press release late Wednesday night stating that, "We are so sure that there is no heaven, that we are preventing anyone from going there." They are de-converting religious people to become faithless.
All across the world, atheists have banded together to de-convert religious people to secularism in a practice called Godbegone. Where atheists incant several passages from Christopher Hitchen's Anti-Theist book, 'God is not Great'.
Thousands of previous religious people have now been converted to atheism and are being kicked out of heaven.
When asked Karen Solomon-Dryer, a devout Catholic, what she thought of the process, she had this to say. "I didn't spend my entire life practicing this misogynistic, pedophile-filled, fucked-up religion not to go to heaven. They better not do it on me."
What can be done?
Thousand of theists are protesting The My Right To Hate Religion Group with a letter writing campaign to their congressman and a harshly written blog. We're kidding, they're threatening violence and destruction.
Justin Cambry of TMRTHRG was questioned on why they would do such a thing. "Apparently any death bed conversion will get you into heaven, regardless of how much of an asshole you've been in real life. We just want to make sure to get justice on bad people."
Some of the people who have been converted to Atheism include: Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Paul, All the Disciples, All Popes, Everyone else in the bible, Oral Roberts. Everyone in Utah, Kansas, Alabama, Texas, Georgia and Tennessee.
They can pick up a phone book, read a passage and bam! it's done. It's that easy.