• Samuel Jacobs

Because of so many Christians, prison opts to become church.

A privately owned prison in Iowa applied for its 501c, non-profit after it realized that more than 90% of it's inmates were of the Christian faith.

Ronald Reagan Correctional Penitentiary in Iowa State, home to 1604 prisoners, has a Christian housing rate of 98%. Warden Francis Jessop, saw this as an opportunity to turn his prison into a tax-free haven by turning it into a church.


Warden Jessop, who used to be an televangelist under the name of Reverend Lou Sparkle of the First Church of the Trinity Blessed came up with the idea when one of the inmates was shanked and was calling out Jesus' name.

"I heard his name clear as day.“ said Warden Jessop, ”In the gen-pop, some Mexican with tattoos on his face was crying out Jesus’ name, although it was some other language.“

There is currently forced prayer in the prison already and a work program that inmates do so they can have some money when they are released. Under the new church, they will take a 10 percent tithe of that.

Even though he’s not Catholic, Warden Jessop has set up a system of indulgences. “You want less time in solitary, you can spend some of your nest egg. You know, in God‘s favor.“

Since it’s already a private prison, there is nothing against the law in doing this. A simple filing of the 501c should do the trick.


"Come to think if it, Jesus could have been the name of the guy who shanked him." said Warden Jessop.

#satire #parody #religimarole #prison #christian #indulgences #nonprophet




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