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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Trump's skin pigment can't hide that he's slowly turning into Satan.

Whereas others think that Trump puts on some sort of tanning base, the truth is revealed as to what the color of Trump's skin actually is: Transforming into Satan.

You may laugh at the outrageous color of Trump's face mask. Others have speculated that apparently a good tan costs Ten Billion and One dollars but the reason behind this strange pigment is more shocking than a small-minded man putting on a fake tan to hide his other misgivings. He is slowly turning into Satan.

For the last 4000 years Satan has been looking for someone to replace him on the throne of hell. He even showed himself in the 2006 documentary 'Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny.'

"We've never seen such aggressiveness of the skin pigment turning to devil red before in a human being." says Catholic Scholar Francis Newberry. "It's the sign of end times."

Newberry continued that soon he would develop small little horns on his head, and a tail. He exclaimed that "All the signs are there and you better make yourself okay with your God." This of course coincides with his acquittal of crimes he has admitted to committing, the drastic change in the climate and him being seen eating a human sacrifice.

Atheists, amongst the most critical thinkers and skeptics on the planet had this to say, "Well, we wanted evidence. Here it is."

Newberry speculates that there isn't much time left and that finally humans have caused their downfall. "We thought it was end times when they aired the show 'Full House' in the 80's, but this is much worse."

Evangelicals are doing everything in their power to stop the transformation, including going against everything they believe in trying to 'trick' the devil that Trump is in fact god sent.


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