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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Scientologists de-converted after being forced to watch Battlefield Earth.

Scores of Scientologists are accidentally being de-converted after being forced to watch Battlefield Earth during their level 12 initiation.

Hollywood, CA. The Church of Scientology has been having a tough year keeping it's members, and they have finally figured out why? As part of their training in becoming good Scientologist is they have to watch Battlefield Earth around level 12. According to an ex-recruiter for Scientology who's opted to remain nameless, level 12 was the perfect 'gotcha' level. They have already invested too much into it that they couldn't leave after watching this cinematic abortion written by our founder without losing a ton of money.

But the results they are expecting have had a different effect. People are waking up to what Scientology really is and how untalented, uninspired and a hack that the founder L. Ron Hubbard was in real life.

"It's like they've been fucked with the reality stick after watching this space turd." said the informant.

There is something about the way the dialogue is written, and the way it is said, and how it was directed and shot and lit... casted... scored... that seems to wake people up from any trance they have been in. The next thing they are going to do is try showing this film to people in comas.

#satire #parody #religimarole #Scientology #BattlefieldEarth #LRonHubbard

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