• Samuel Jacobs

Scientologist: We never actually said we weren’t a tax shelter.

A spokesperson for Scientology released a statement today saying that they never actually denied the fact that the 'religion' isn't a tax shelter.

Los Angeles, CA. Gregory Fiendish, the official spokesperson for Scientology has come out saying that they never actually said that the Religion wasn't a tax shelter.

Created in 1952 by science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology quickly spread with the adoption of the book Dianetics which seemed to attract many high-profile clients like Tom Cruise, among others.

The Church of Scientology professes that a human is an immortal, spiritual being (thetan) that is resident in a physical body. The thetan has had innumerable past lives and it is observed in advanced Scientology texts that lives preceding the thetan's arrival on Earth were lived in extraterrestrial cultures. Based on case studies at advanced levels, it is predicted that any Scientologist undergoing auditing will eventually come across and recount a common series of events.

"I don't know what to tell you. You never actually asked." said Mr. Fiendish, "You got all butt hurt because it wasn't your particular brand of crap."

When asked about all of the horrible things that were said about the religion from ex-members Mr. Fiendish replied, "Of course they are going to say bad things about us, they are ex members. Like you've ever said good things about an ex."

#satire #parody #religimarole #Scientology #LRONHubbard

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