• Samuel Jacobs

POLL: 84% of gay men would totally let Jesus shred them.

A recent gallop poll questioned 10000 gay men on the sexiness of Jesus and a whopping 84% said they would totally do Jesus in a heartbeat. They wouldn't even have to get drunk.


When questioned about what they liked about Jesus enough that they would want to bone him, they came up with several different responses.

• 23% Good with his hands.

• 12% Heroin Chic

• 34% Abs that don't quit.

• 11% He can drag a lot of weight.

• 22% He brings the wine.


"Just look at him, he's a stone-cold fox. The hair, the beard. We can even play sex games with the holes in his hands." said one pollster.

Ironically only 14% of pollsters want to be in a relationship with Jesus. A good 30% of the poll said they would also really totally like to fuck Buddha. "He's a bear who likes his tummy rubbed. That's so hot."


#satire #parody #jesus #shredding #sexgames #religimarole

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