• Samuel Jacobs

Paula White, Trump's spiritual advisor claims: Jesus Christ was my prom date.

Updated: Mar 3

Back in the early 80's, when she went to West Beverly High, Paula White claims that Jesus took her to the prom, and turned the water to wine.

Memphis, Paula White, (neé Furr) the pastor of Paula White Ministries revealed to the world yesterday that she decided to become a Christian at 18 when Jesus Christ asked her to the high school prom.


According to White, he used to hang around a group of unsavory people, and at first she didn't trust him, but she found out his true colors when she discovered that he volunteered after school helping the sick and feeding the poor.

"At school he was a know-it-all. He always questioned authority and walked to the beat of his own drum." says Paula.

Even though Jesus defied authority, he couldn't stand a bully. He would stick up for those who were picked on and chastised. "He's a really great guy." said an alumnus. "He's not as rich as the rest of us, but that doesn't matter." said Steve.


One day he looked at me and said, "Why have you forsaken me? Will you come to prom with me?" Paula's eyes teared up, "I of course said, yes! It was like he had a power over me."


Paula says witnesses at the prom remember that they had a great time. He could do the hustle really well. At one point he turned the nonalcoholic punch into wine. The other prom attendants said they really dug his jive.


When things got a little out of control. Some of the students got drunk off the wine and they were about to drive to the after party drunk, but Jesus took the keys to their car and offered to individually drive everyone. Afterwards they hung out with Donna and Brenda, while Steve hit on Kelly at the Peach Pit.


When interviewing Mrs. Cavindish, the West Beverly High school guidance counselor she had this to say, "I do remember him, good kid, but It was the early 80's all the kids looked like Jesus."


#satire #religimarole #Paulawhite #jesus




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