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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

NEW: Popephylactics, condoms with Mother Teresa's face to kill the mood.

Updated: Jun 22, 2020

In an effort to get people to stop having premarital sex, the Vatican releases Popephylactics, a condom with Mother Teresa's face to kill the mood of having sex.

Mother Teresa is watching you have sex.

The Catholic Church realizes that people have urges outside of marriage and sometimes banning something like condoms just aren't going to work. So they invented Popephylactics. A condom that will kill your mood to have sex as soon as you see it.

"Too many young Catholics were having premarital sex and using condoms." said Draco Fleming, Head of Vatican Product Testing. "So we created a condom that will kill a boner."

If they respect the Church they aren't going to get into a situation where they are going to have consensual sex. But if their urges do get the best of them, we consider the Popephylactic the last ditch effort to stop the naughty, dirty, bone sucking, sex.

At first they were going to give them out at mass, but a lot of Catholics nowadays skip mass altogether, so they are being included with Fortnite Video Games so the younger generation will associate the shriveled old hag with sex. "We don't want their penises working before we get our meat hooks into them." said Fleming.

They have tried other products that hasn't seemed to work, like a line of Lesbian Nun Porn, called Sister Mary full of Grace where a nonCatholic lesbian seduces and has sex with nun, hoping that the image of two woman, one who is married to Jesus, would be a put off, but it seems that it has become a little bit of a fetish. Luckily only 12 sequels, a line of costumes and double-headed dildos were made.


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