• Samuel Jacobs

Jehovah Witnesses complain about intrusive Amber alerts on phones.

Updated: Jan 30

Amber alert in the early mornings really annoy Jehovah Witnesses, and they aren't taking it lying down.

San Francisco, CA. The Jehovah Witnesses of San Francisco have had enough with the intrusive alerts that they receive on their smart phones at all hours of the morning.

"Don't they know we get up early in the morning?" said Elder Damon Haversall, editor of Awake! magazine. "What we do isn't easy."

It's imperative that Jehovah Witnesses get a good night sleep because only 144,000 of them are getting into heaven, so they have to work extra hard to secure their space, and the amber alerts are interfering with that. After all, the world is going to end [insert date here] and there isn't enough time with constant interruptions.


One of the way they combat the intrusiveness of the amber alerts is to turn off their phone, but their biggest complaint is that they won't hear their alarm then.


#satire #parody #religimarole #jehovahwitnesses #awake #watchtower

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