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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Evangelicals now consider abortions after Science can tell if a fetus will be born a Democrat.

Updated: Mar 29, 2020

Science can now tell the political affiliation of the fetus before birth and Evangelicals now want mothers to reconsider having an abortion.

Researchers in the genealogy department at College University of North Texas have discovered the empathy gene that will cause an adult to vote democrat when they turn 18. Dr. Francis Underwood has been studying this particular strain for a decade and has finally pinpointed the source of Democratic voting.

"We were looking for the cause of people who were kind, empathetic and caring, and while we were doing it, we discovered the democrat gene." said Dr. Underwood. "It wasn't really a surprise."

Cruel Fate

Ironically the study was funded by the government and before they could map the gene, the funding was rescinded and given to Catholic Schools. They can still identify the gene under a simple ultrasound.

"We can't suppress it." said Dr. Underwood. "If we track that data, we will know how many Democrats are born each year." Republicans have now left Roe V Wade alone and have opened abortion clinics on every street corner in an attempt for Democrats to get abortions.

In the mean time, Evangelicals have gone against their faith and will not oppose those women who want to get a democratic abortion. When asked what their stance was on murder, they had this to say, "Normally we are disgusted by this and it goes against everything we profess we stand for." said Evangelical Preacher Norm Standard, "But if you are going to vote Democrat, you might as well not exist."

What Norm Standard was trying to say is that Evangelicals are hypocrites.


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