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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

Chick-fil-A caves to Big Grammar and finally apologizes for their name.

Updated: Jul 6, 2020

After protests from the GASS, Chick-fil-A came out with a statement today apologizing for all the ills that they have caused the Grammar and Spelling community in the supporting of the blatant misspelling of their name.

ATLANTA, GA. As delicious as their chicken is, their company stands for something more sinister, the subjugation and contribution of corporate misspelling in society.

Chick-fil-A released a statement today that it is taking ownership for all of the bad blood they have caused the by turning their name into a grammar joke. There have been a couple of protests from the Grammar and Spelling Society (GASS) where five-tens of people have stood in front of one of their stores in Los Angeles, holding grammatically correct placards and signs.

"We are losing our language to short-from text speak. We need to preserve words and phrases, else we will emulate Newspeak from the novel 1984, by George Orwell." said one of the protestors.

The hand full of protestors stood outside in unpredictable 74 degree weather, as they didn't know if they had to put on a light jacket or not, but they braved the elements to continued to try to reach others with their message, 'No word left behind'.

When asked if they had any issue with the company's other policy of contributing to Anti-LGBTQ organizations they swiftly replied, "We had no idea. That's awful. Deplorable. Unscrupulous..." It then became a game amongst the protestors to continue to find words.

We are sorry of any misgivings that this may have caused." said Chick-fil-A President and COO Tim Tassopoulos. "We are considering going back to our original non-offensive name, 'Dwarf Grill'."

GASS's previous crusades have included Kellogg's Froot Loops and Cheez Whiz. Their biggest victory is they were instrumental in causing the toy chain Toys “Я” Us to close down. "Not only was the R backwards, but it was shorten down from 'Are' in an egregious disrespect for language."


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