• Samuel Jacobs

BREAKING: The War on Christmas reveals final death tally of 43m.

As the smoke has cleared in the aftermath of this most terrible war, the final number of those brave people who have died for their convictions amounts to 43 million - the worst in history.

The United States just saw the bloodiest War on Christmas in history. With 43 million people perished, most of them are white republican adults. The fighting was hearty but when the smoke cleared, there was one clear winner. Those who fought for the Christian Traditional saying found that they were indeed on the wrong side of history.


People of all races, creeds, sexes, genders and religious affiliations had joined in the fight to take down those who say Merry Christmas by being inclusive to those who also celebrate something around December.


There was a cease fire called, but no one know until when. Some say it's before Halloween, others say that it's right after American Thanksgiving. What we do know is the bloodshed has increased each year and has no chance of decreasing. When asking a Veteran from The War on Christmas '15, about the sheer senseless violence these wars have caused, he had this to say,

"It's like they used all our rhetoric against us. They threw out hurtful terms like 'snowflake'. They knew what they were doing. Senseless deaths." said Conrad Reese, US Army General.


But the fight continues.

There is no end in sight for those who continue to support this senseless war. They will rally again next year, fewer in numbers, but just as stalwart, ready to take down everyone who will wish good tidings to everyone, and not just Christians.


#satire #religimarole #jesus #waronchristmas #jesus #parody

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